Walking The Walk

Reality Into Rules

I may be a little silly with myself for having this rule; but it helps me to NOT have baskets of clean laundry around. I’m really good at washing clothes I’m just not good at putting up clothes 😳. So here’s my rule that I try not to break. 

Laundry Rule Número Uno: Do not start a new load of laundry until the first load is put up. 

What an obvious idea to go by! But my laundry process was consistently in baskets until I made this idea a “rule” with myself. It just makes life run a little more smoothly. Thought I’d share in case anyone else needed to make this reality a “rule” too. 


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Naughty Naughty Hair

Easy and simple way to do your hair!! Take 2 pieces of hair and knot them twice. Then rubber band. Yep! It’s truly that simple. 



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Makin’ A Pancacke

2 Cups Flour

1 Cup Sugar

1 Teaspoon Salt

1 1/2 Tablespoons Baking Powder

1 Egg

2 Cups Milk

2 Tablespoons Butter

4 Teaspoons Vanilla

Cooked Bacon (optional)

Throw together your dry ingredients in a mixing bowl. Then add your egg, milk, butter, and vanilla. At this point you can crumble bacon on your mixture (if you would like). Once your desired ingredients are added whisk together to get the lumps out. I pour my wanted amount of batter in a spouted measuring cup for easy pouring. I also use almond oil in my skillet for coating and effortless flipping. Enjoy!



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Resurrection Garden

This was really fun to make for the entire family. The only thing I had to buy was a small terra cotta pot for the “tomb” and some fake flowers; both I got from Walmart. Everything else I had in my craft box, kitchen, or found outside. 


Instead of the green “moss” ribbon you could do real grass, moss from a tree outside, or whatever you want to decorate with. The sky is literally the limit. I choose to make a resurrection garden that wasn’t real because I wanted a decoration that could stay made for every year. It’s definitely a tradition I want to implement each year and then have one in each child’s room or even gift our garden to someone. 



Categories: Save Benji's & D.I.Y., Save It For Your Family, Walking The Walk | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Shades of Soft Porn

I wrote this lil diddy several weeks ago but didn’t publish it because I haven’t read any of the books nor have I seen the movie. Not because I am “anti”. It’s more because I don’t really like to read and because movie plans fell through. Just being honest. I felt like I should at least see the movie (before publishing) in case I needed to change any of my thought processes. Then, I came across Russell Brand’s take on 50 Shades of Grey and I realized this dude and I are basically thinking the same thing.  So, I am going to go ahead and give my POV without seeing or reading 50 Shades of Grey because it is truly an interesting phenomenon.

The first thing that is obvious to me is that 50 Shades of Grey is porn.  It’s “soft porn”, but its porn. It’s fascinating to me that women I talk to see the movie as a “love story”. It may be a “love story”; but it’s a soft core porn “love story”. The Notebook is a freaking love story….see the difference? And let’s be honest if Christian Grey was a guy in a trailer park this would be a plot for a CSI episode. Any who; all summer I saw women by the pool and on the beach and in mom’s groups talking about the books and the plot. Telling me I really need to read the books. Most in disbelief that I hadn’t read the books. And offering their books if I wanted to borrow them. Some expressed points on how their sex lives had gotten so much better due to the books. And that their husbands were having some of the best nights of their lives. Some husbands didn’t even know that their wives were reading the books. All these occurrences are intriguing because most did not see what they were participating in; which was soft core porn. I found it funny, because most of these women that were openly talking 50 Shades of Grey would not talk porn. Anytime women would offer their books to me I couldn’t help but think of adolescent kids finding porn mags and trading them or bringing them to friends to check out the sexual stimuli that can be found on the pages. I felt like I was the only one making the realistic connection with 50 Shades of Grey and the porn industry.

When I would hear these viewpoints that women would tell I would begin to wonder if they had ever heard of the term “fluffer”.  A fluffer is a person in the porn industry who gets the actor/actress erect or ready for his/her scene to have sex.  The book and the movie is a take home fluffer. It is literally feeding people’s brains to send off chemicals to fire up their sex organs to get ready to have sex. I imagined seeing porn mags instead of the hardcover books in the hands of these women and listening to them talk about the images on a certain page versus the “love story” and it made me giggle. Because they wouldn’t do such a thing as that. That meaning talk porn. You’r not going to see a Hustler porn magazine tucked in a handbag, diaper bag, or pool bag. But a 50 Shades of Grey softcover could easily be peeking out at you. Can you imagine standing in line at Starbucks and the chick on the couch is reading a Playboy?! Now replay that scene and imagine the chick reading a 50 Shades of Grey….seems more socially acceptable. Because it is….now. Even though the Playboy is the same damn thing as the 50 Shades of Grey! Both pieces of media fire off chemicals in your brain to rev up your physical response to sex. Images start flowing through your mind to set the stage for your next sexual encounter. It’s soft core porn.

Another interesting idea is that people are going in very large groups to watch 50 Shades of Grey in a movie theatre setting. Think about that. Would you go with a group to a movie theatre to watch a porn film? Some people who saw 50 Shades of Grey in a group setting haven’t even ever been inside a strip club or an adult toy store! But they feel comfortable going to watch 50 Shades of Grey (a soft core porn film) with a bunch of strangers. Who knows what the people around were thinking in their minds or feeling in their nether regions while watching the movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if their was some secret petting happening during the movie in some of those seats. Some couples probably left the theater and couldn’t even hold back the hormones. There is no telling what went on during the drive home for some people. I just think individuals aren’t fully aware of what they are doing, what it is actually called, and what that means for our fellow man. I have to be honest. Media pulled a fast one on society with this 50 Shades of Grey sexual chemistry storm.

Now let me be clear. I am not boycotting 50 Shades of Grey nor do I think your bad if you have participated in the 50 Shades of Grey title wave. You can keep reading the books, buying the products, watching the movie, and keep having some of the greatest nights of your life. Just know what you’r doing and call “a duck a duck”. Don’t let media fool you. Check out Russell Brand’s video at the bottom because he hits up the societal side and the spiritual side of the topic of porn. It’s just great knowledge to be fully aware of.

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Yes, Stay At Home Moms “Work”

As a full time stay at home mom I have to admit I work my tail off. And I’m rarely at home!! I don’t even know why stay at home is a part of my job description for crying out loud. Through the past 7.5 years of staying at home I’ve had phrases and questions thrown at me from women such as:

A) Women like you don’t work!

B) When are you going to go back to work?

C) So, what do you do all day?

D) Some of us have to go to work now.

E) I’d tell your daughter I was coming back from work; but she probably wouldn’t understand.

Sounds pretty intense to hear right? When I get hit with these words I can’t help but wonder where is this ideology coming from? Ignorance, jealousy, self righteousness, or just actual innocence of not knowing what stay at home moms do. I’m going to believe that it’s the later guess because I’m going to assume positive intent. Mainly because if it’s the first 3 then that is just going against their own species, and not really showing that sisterhood love we need to give one another. I think it’s interesting that if someone partakes in home”work”, “working” out at the gym, volunteer “work”, missionary “work”, or “working” for wages. Then by damned that’s working. But if you stay at home that is not work.

Well, I’m here to reassure you that being a stay at home mom is work and is undervalued. If stay at home moms got paid we would gross over $100,000.00/year depending on the economy! That’s huge! We clock in sometimes over a 90 hour work week.

Now, working moms take on two shifts. The “paid” shift and the “unpaid” shift. The paid shift meaning the job they earn wages at, the unpaid shift meaning when they come home and they are full on mom. When I was in college I read the book “The Second Shift”. This book is a game changer for mentality and I highly recommend it as a must read. You can find it here. I also want to say that I see working moms in just as a high regard as I see stay at home moms. We are both working our tails off to handle life, the hours we work, and the curve balls that are thrown at us. When I saw the latest Similac commercial I was slapped in the face when I heard the term “part time mom” come out of the stay at home mom’s mouth. I thought to myself does this term actually exist and is it used against working mothers?! If it is, it needs to stop! The bashing needs to end from both sides. We are all working. Whether you are getting paid for it or not! Enough is enough. Support one another. Don’t tear each other down. Get educated with what each niche does for their children and celebrate that person’s path.

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Wash Yo Hands 

I help lead my daughter’s Girl Scout troop and yesterday I had the privilege to conduct their meeting.  One area in our meeting was talking about preventing the spread of disease.  I decided to have the girls wash their hands to demonstrate a way to prevent the spread of germs.  They lined up at the sink in the clubhouse and one by one I watched them wash their hands.  It was eye opening to see how many girls didn’t really know how to wash their hands.  I had a few that had to restart the process and I had to teach them the correct way.  With that being said; if you have kiddos carve out 5 minutes out of your day and ask them to wash their hands in front of you.  Check to make sure they are taking their time, rubbing the soap all over the hands, and not pumping the liquid soap out only to allow it to flow out of their cupped hands into the sink.  With all the yucky viruses going around this season.  And the fact that the flu shot sucked donkey this year.  We need to be proactive as a community for our health.  So, take a few moments and check out their hand washing.  It could save you a trip to the doctor’s office and save you some benji’s in the process.

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Feeling the baby kick (There is life in you.)

Your hair grows like a speed demon (You could literally grow your hair like Crystal Gayle.)

That “glow” ( All I can say is MAC’s bronzer ain’t got nothin’ on that glow.)


You get doted on ( if you drop something….someone will pick it up, doors are held open for you, people let you cut in line, AND seats are given up for you.)

Being a vessel for life (ONE of the most important jobs a woman can receive.)

Watching your belly grow (Too cool for school.)


Fingernail growth (You can put fake nails to shame.)

Getting away with rockin’ your hubby’s t-shirts (Seriously one of my top fives. )

Food (Fulfilling a craving is FABULOUS.)

A new kind of sexy (Your body is changing and you might as well roll with it. Time to feel empowered.)

Sonogram appointments (That 20 week profile picture is the bomb!)

Boobs (sorry if I mentioned that already.)

Getting ready for baby (Tiny clothes, nursery colors, gadgets, and baby gizmos.)

Nesting  (You clean and organize like you received a degree in it.  And miss the power once it’s gone.  I have literally thought to myself “maybe I should get knocked up so I can re-organize my kitchen” #truestory )

Baby Shower (It’s an excuse to have a party with your friends!)

Sex Positions (Have fun with it. Laugh about the ones you can’t do any more and explore for new options. In the words of John Mayer “your body is a wonderland”.)

Gender reveal (wether it’s through a sonogram or delivery it’s an awesome moment.)

Picking out a name (Who cares what others think….it’s your baby, you name it.)

Pregnancy massages (I love the hole in the mat that I can put my belly in!! It gives me the opportunity to lay on my stomach without laying on my stomach.)


Headaches, Nausea, Vomiting  (And thats only the beginning.)

Exhaustion  (Even though you are growing life like a superhero, you don’t have the stamina like one.)

Peeing  (It’s always happening.)

Weird hairs popping up in weird places (this seems to happen to me only when pregnant and I have no idea where they go once the baby comes out of my body.  I will say though, I am thankful they disappear.)

Gaining weight  (My pre-pregnancy weight is about a buck thirty so when I become pregnant it’s interesting how my muscles handle the weight gain. P.S. They don’t.  Which is why when I go to sit down on my knees, my calves actually feel like they are going to explode due to the pressure.)

Being out of breath  (going up stairs will make you feel like you have a serious breathing problem even if it is only eight stairs to climb.)


Your growing belly (I seem to whack my belly with corners of walls and opening or shutting doors because my brain hasn’t quite gotten use to the tummy’s expansion.)

Your dying thirst for water (This thirst will hit you like you have been in a desert for 40 days straight.)

Sleeping at night  (You are constrained to only a few positions and you have to pee.)

Back pain  (Self explanatory.)

Sex Drive  (It’s either dead like your roses in the winter or revved up like a teenage boy’s dream.)

Losing sight of your daisy  (some words of wisdom: 1)Do not try to find it with a mirror and 2)Just know it will come back next spring.)


Balance (since your front side is protruding out you have the capability of stumbling like a drunk; so walk with caution.)

Pregnancy Brain (Your IQ will literally drop about 25 points give or take.)

Body Temperature (Your an oven. Enough said.)

Boobs resting on the belly (Such a weird feeling and makes me realize how much my body is actually changing.)

Constipation  (Once again, self explanatory.)

Not being able to lay on your stomach  (This really sucks if you are a stomach sleeper like me.)


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A Confession About My Unborn Son

Writing the words “my son” brings tears to my eyes.  I am a mother of two faith filled, incredible, hilarious, understanding, beautiful, and giving daughters.  They have made me the woman I am today and I will be forever grateful to them for that.   My soul has always yearned for a son as well.  Not only has my selfish flesh reminded me of my want for a boy; society reminds me too.  Whether it’s a complete stranger who sees me with my girls and poses the question, “well you gonna go for a boy?” or if it’s the quips from others reminding me of the expenses and emotional “burdens” girls will put on me.  The combination made me scared to have another girl.  My husband and I decided to have a third child; but only after digging deep within our souls.  We wanted to want a third NOT because we were going for a boy.  But because we wanted another gift from God.  We spent much time in prayer and conversations with one another asking God to purge us of these selfish wants and societal perspectives on girls.  We listened to what God told us to do before we began our journey of conception and took our steps of faith towards our third gift.

This entire timeline is about two years old.  Which proves the patience and guidance we had to gain to get where we currently are.  I am going to fast forward and let you know what happened on a Tuesday because I want to share how awesome God is.  On this Tuesday it was forty eight hours before our sonogram where we could find out if we were having a boy or a girl.  Let me preface by saying we had decided to wait until delivery for the baby’s gender reveal.  People told us that it was an amazing experience and if you have the opportunity, to at least do it once.  I trusted these words and couldn’t deny that it had to be an incredible feeling within the delivery room.  I agreed to do this for the encounter.  But also because I was still privately struggling with the issue of gender and wanting a son.  Even though I thought I had really given this issue over to God, here it was creeping back on me.  As my pregnancy bump grew, the questions from others asking, “so, do you want a boy this time?” was not helping tame the emotions inside me.  I figured that if I waited for delivery I could hold my baby and at that point the issue of gender would just disappear.  So, back to Tuesday….. I was a hot mess and struggling.  I knew I was thinking WAY too much about the boy/girl thing and I was letting the voices of evil creep in.  I should have been focused on God gifting us with a third baby.  Making the gift of new life the center.  I spoke with my husband about my emotions explaining that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wait for delivery anymore.  I told him I may want to find out; but I also didn’t want to loose the experience of the delivery room surprise.  He told me not to worry.  And that we have plenty of time because the sonogram wasn’t until Thursday.  I took his advice and enjoyed my evening with him.  Regardless.  I had to admit.  The root of the emotion wasn’t that I was confused about when to find out – at the sonogram or going through the journey in delivery….it was that I was afraid I was pregnant with another girl.  I feel awful typing thoses words out; but I think there are parents that can relate to this thought process; so I don’t feel too alone.

Wednesday came around and the emotional wave was swelling inside me.  I was hiding my fear of a third girl to the outside.  Even to my husband.  I decided to talk to one of my best friends about my truths and she told me that she and her husband chose to walk out of their sonogram appointment with an envelope in hand that had the gender of their baby.  I thought that was a great idea because even though it sounds like torture.  It was comforting for me to have the knowledge within our grasp.  So, at any point.  If we chose to look at it.  We could.  I spoke to my husband about it and he thought it was a cool idea.  So, that was the plan Wednesday night.  Thursday morning, the day of the sonogram; my soul was tossing and turning.  I woke up at 6 am to get my first born out of bed and ready for school.  I walked into her room and heard Plumb’s song “Lord, I’m Ready Now”.  I realized at that second in time and in space how much I was NOT ready for the truth.  I walked into my daughter’s closet and fell to my knees and wept uncontrollably.  I told God I was so sorry for not being thankful for this gift He had given us in an unconditional manner.  I told Him I needed him to guide me today and to let His voice be heard through this process.  I told Him that I knew He knew what was best for me because He created me.  I asked to have this gender issue removed from me because I didn’t want to think about the topic anymore and I wanted to bring my focus back on Him.  I stood up and decided to go down and find my husband and confess to him that the reason for my emotional state was not confusion.  But fear.

I was afraid of not receiving a son.  My husband hugged me and told me he loved me and that whatever that baby is, it is exactly what God wants for us.  He even told me that he wanted a son too.  But he also knew God’s will was the most important because it is what is best.  I felt more calm and at ease and just decided to let God handle the day from that moment forward.  I got our girls off to school and decided to stop by church before the appointment to have some alone time.  I walked inside the sanctuary and sat on that pew and poured my heart out again asking for strength, forgiveness, and guidance.  Driving to the appointment I felt emotional.  But I felt it in a secure way.  I knew God had me.  And He was driving the day.  I remember sitting next to my husband waiting to hear my name called.  The whole time I was talking to God.  Just asking Him to keep guiding us and for me to hear His voice.  Then….I heard my name called.  We head to the sonogram room and I hop up on the table.  The tech tells me that she is going to check my cervix first.  She put the transducer on my abdomen and we see an image for about three to five seconds that burst our hearts wide open.  We saw a boy.  She pulled the transducer back up quickly.  But my husband and I knew what we saw.  She asked if we wanted to know what the gender was because she was aware of the image that just flashed on the screen as well.  Of course we said yes because we already knew!  She put the transducer back down and there he was….our son.  Laying on his back, sucking on his fingers, legs spread wide with his man parts showing.  My husband and I started crying and hugging so hard that the tech started crying with us.  The song “Our God Is An Awesome God” started playing on the tech’s radio.  It was a gentle and powerful reminder that God brought us to that moment and the entire process belonged to Him.

Categories: Save It For Your Family, Save Relationships, Save Yourself Thru Growth, Walking The Walk | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paying It Forward

I saw an interesting post the other day about some thoughts on receiving a gift of a paid order, while in the Starbucks drive thru. The majority thought it was a pointless idea and if you are going to give; it needed to be to a charity or the homeless. Some thought it was the rich giving to the rich. One thought was even based on a great point; which was, what if your buying the coffee for a serial killer and you have no idea. There was also discussion of guilt that was brought up; meaning when their order was paid for they felt like they had to pay for the order behind them. These thought processes have really great points and made me realize there are probably way more than these 20 something people that felt the same way. Since I was definitely the minority in the thread I wanted to broaden my perspective on the Starbucks drive thru giving process.

1. Let’s look at it with positive intent. It’s a random act of kindness; so be thankful and roll with it…..literally; roll right out the drive thru with your free order.

2. Do NOT feel angry that your order was just paid for and feel like you HAVE to pay for the person behind you. You have options.
A) take the gift and have a great day.
B) pay for the person behind you; meaning the partial order or the full order.
C) pay the random act of kindness back in a different way; which in my opinion is where this ripple effect can get cool.

3. Take charge of your opportunity to now pay it forward (here’s the cool part). Instead of buying the person behind you coffee you can do some of these examples
A) send a random text of encouragement to a friend.
B) hold open a door for someone.
C) if you see someone drop something go to pick it up.
D) if your in a parking lot and see a piece of trash blowing in the wind pick it up and throw it away.
E) donate your time and or money to a charity your passionate about.
F) put a card in the mail to a friend or family member.
G) if you see someone struggling help them.
H) make grace bags for the homeless.
I) take a sick friend supper.

The sky is the limit. The point of the exercise is to ignite an area within you that sparks a want to pay it forward. You don’t have to repay the same act of kindness. The person behind you has no idea your order was paid for. It was a gift given to you to do what YOU want to do with. It’s a pretty incredible opportunity to receive. So don’t assume the negative like it’s the rich helping the rich, or that your buying the order for a bad person, or that the person that gifted you doesn’t already help the homeless and give to charity. Negativity freezes us in opportunity. Assume positive intent and let your light shine through to pay it forward. I promise you it will be worth it.


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